Sometimes we cannot find rest because of our own choices and activities.
At other times, however, rest eludes us for seemingly no reason: nothing we have done or have not done has “caused” the grinding fatigue and exhaustion.
You wander the night hours—sometimes literally—and wake up confused, tired, and angry.
The rest that you have taken for granted for decades now seems like some kind of puzzle that you cannot assemble. That there’s some kind of key or set of instructions that you used to have, and now it’s been taken from you, and you don’t know why.
When rest doesn’t come, it’s easy to be angry.
But just because something is easy doesn’t legitimize it.
So guard your anger.
Ask for insight.
Furthermore, there ARE things you can do: you know what to do to be healthy and to look for whatever “key” there may be.
Do those things, and accept the consequences, knowing that you have done what you’ve been called to do, and prayed everything you’ve been called to pray.
After that, the results are out of your hands.